Tag: I love this

okay kids listen up – your German aunt Natalie (dat me) is gonna tell you about that beetle

cabloom:

joshua-dun-with-u:

* yes I mean that blue fucking beetle in the masterpiece “Captain America – The First Avenger That Had To Go And Kiss Sharon What The Heck Steve”

* I’m telling you this cause I drive that lil piece of shit car through good old Germany every day and it’s not fun okay

* first of all it’s a “Käfer” not a beetle if I gotta hear one more German say biiitel in that “what is English” voice I’m gonna

* so yeah that car? No. Why. Steve wHY

* it’s Steve Sam and Bucky Baby right? Right. Let me tell you these three men are SUFFERING

* Bucky? Just forget about him. Lost the feeling in his legs two hours ago, hits his head on the roof every time (every. time.) there’s a bump in the road THIS MAN HAS HURT ENOUGH GODDAMNIT

* no for real the backseats weren’t built for humans let alone the motherfucking winter soldier

* Stevie and Sam darling can’t be more comfy either like shit this car is TINY

* that stuff Sharon “let’s touch lips” Carter got you there? Good luck getting that in the trunk. TheTrunk™ that’s apparently built for one single egg-shaped thing. No one knows what that thing is. Everything that is NOT that thing won’t fit

* It just. Doesn’t fit. 🙂

* THE GEARSHIFT OKAY like “let’s escape?” – NO how bout no cause the gearshift is stuck sorry Steve you wanted to what? Drive?? Backwards???? Nah man. This thing is stuck into the next century and you better not use your super soldier mojo like the only thing you’ll manage is to break the handle clean off

* THERE ARE THREE MORE THAN GROWN MEN IN THIS CAR AND IT’S SUNNY OUTSIDE YOU DON’T GET IT THEY ARE COOKING IN THIS TIN CAN LIKE THE FUCKING INSTANT RAVIOLI THEY ARE

* trust me. Boiling heat. They started building real air condition after that car thanks VW

* did I mention that? It’s not fast?? Like? At all?? Like? You wanna drive on a fucking highway for more than 5 minutes with some kinda decent speed and this thing will need a day nap after. Let’s remember they’re literally escaping from iron man lol

* YOU DONT GET IT. THIS IS LITERALLY. THE MOST. IMPRACTICAL CAR. IN THE WORLD. UGH

* at least it has a fuckin flower vase next to the fucking steering wheel cheers Steve Rogers good luck with that you iDIO T

FRIEND! My mum drove us around in an original model Beatle 1980-1985 and YES.

The heat: the fake leather on the seats heats to the point of igniting

You can take most of your clothes off and power through the stinging burn when your thighs first touch the surface
AND HEY don’t move now because your legs are now bonded to that surface by sweat and some cruel alchemy that makes fart noises and threatens to tear your epidermis from your body every time you try to shift around
OR
you can choose to keep your jeans on but friend you now have to accept that you are going to be soaked through in under 3 minutes I hope you brought plenty of water and your religion

m-u-n-c-h-y:

buckyballbearing:

buckyballbearing:

So if Steve Rogers has super healing

Does this mean he can no longer tan?

Imagine Sam taking him to the beach at his parent’s place

And Steve looks completely awkward and adorable with dorky board shorts and a big floppy hat

(He hasn’t been to the beach in the modern era; shaddup he’s busy)

(He also has zero idea how not to walk on sea oats jfc Rogers)

He is pale as a vampire with an instant Irish flush

And Sam isn’t a creeper, you know, he’s respectful

Not gonna lie though, he was looking forward to helping Steve with the sunscreen

Then Steve has to be an asshole and ruin it by saying he can’t burn anymore

Sam says he ought to protect himself anyway, but of course Steve ignores it

So all day Sam has to shake his head and watch as Steve flip-flops between lily white and flaking and blistered boiled lobster

(Next time, shut up and lemme be sweet to you, Cap)

The next time, they take Bucky and Nat too

And it’s kind of a beautiful disaster

The day gets off to a bumpy start because Bucky’s left arm isn’t exactly ideal for the beach – he walks down the beach stairs and damn near blinds everyone

But he also hates wearing long sleeves in the sun; he and the arm both overheat

Sam solves the problem by plastering on every last cooling towel his family owns over Bucky’s shoulders and neck

But then Bucky starts complaining he’s going to get sand in the plates anyway

And does anyone know how annoying brushing out grit is

(Answer is yes, literally everyone)

Then Steve tells him to suck it up and literally chucks him into the surf

And Sam has nine heart attacks because the dude sinks like a stone and holy shit, doesn’t come back up

Can he even float with that arm, seriously Cap, what the fuck

And then Bucky explodes up out of the water and does his level best to throw Steve farther

And now the two of them are actively attempting to depants each other in the surf and shove sand in each other’s trunks and Natasha cannot stop laughing

Eventually they wear themselves out and flop under the umbrella where Nat was trying to read

So she goes out in the surf with Sam and holds onto his elbow and he picks up a couple skates to let her touch

Because she’s never been to the gulf before, and she’s fascinated by absolutely everything

A little too much though

He turns around at one point and she’s picked up a shark

@curls-cat